37 Comments
User's avatar
Eva's avatar

Loveeeeee this!! It’s such an honest reflection and connected with me so much. There’s something so daunting about wanting to do so many things but also not wanting to do one thing. I’m so scared of the quote “Jack of all trades. master of none” and the imagery of the rotting fig tree really confronted that for me. This was beautifully done!

Cal's avatar

I had that quote at back of my head while writing this. Thank you so much <3

Emay Pur's avatar

I have never related to something so much. As a jack of all trades, with every personality trait being circumstantial and contradictory, I often find myself questioning who I am. Put under the constant pressure of societal expectations, I dont have time to find myself.

I think I am what I create. Those little messy scattered pieces of my heart and soul are infused within each key I press, each stroke of my paintbrush, each well chosen word. I am what I create, and that is beautiful...I just wish I was me -- not just what comes from me. I wish I knew myself

Fiona🌻's avatar

This is so beautifully written, thank you for sharing. It was also deeply relatable

Cal's avatar

Thank you for reading!!!

Sayan's avatar

This was very personal and heart touching,i hope the shallow trunk you claim to be blossoms when spring comes<3

the unfinished human.'s avatar

I resonate deeply. And love the PS about the em dashes — they’re forever my closest writing companion.

Medhanki☆ミ's avatar

Found my people ig because i resonate with this at very high level like the fear of wanting to be everything and end up being nothing is just scary

Medhanki☆ミ's avatar

Found my people ig because i resonate with this at very high level like the fear of wanting to be everything and end up being nothing is just scary

fatima 🫧's avatar

holy shit this made me cry. amazing ;)

Hridyanshi's avatar

I don't even know what exactly to say, but very well written indeed. I wish the best for you!

glide's avatar

we definitely should!

Saddhana Velpari's avatar

"Everybody has to be something, and I believed that my potential was nothing but an inevitability." im gonna drink to this

Charlotte's avatar

Loved this!! So beautifully written ☺️

Sofaraway's avatar

Ik this is kind of useless advice but truly truly while this is a great piece,you have time!a half filled book will forever be better than an empty one,your figs are rotten?well say hi to agriculture because you can always grow new ones!!this isn't metallurgy or wtv yk?ig i sound like a hopeless romantic but pls dont waste away ur youth like this(sorry if that sounds too harsh)

Cal's avatar

That's an interesting perspective!!!

Sofaraway's avatar

OHHH BULLET HOLE FROM THE FIRST LINE ITSELF STAWWPP

gracey's avatar

i relate to this on a different level except i am the fourteen year old you once was; dreaming abt what the future holds and what and who i will become. this is seriously super underrated!!

Kylee's avatar

I think your first mistake was being left-handed. Then again, you have excellent handwriting. Maybe I’ve had it wrong all along.

Yeah… everything, nothing… I was an honors student who remembered all her history, so I can’t forget the praise or let go of the things that make me everything, nothing, and first and foremost, make me me.

If I think too long, I want to be everything which is the same as wanting to be nothing. Mostly, I think I just want to be happy. I want to have fun and feel like whatever I do, that I did it on my terms.