How to kill yourself without dying.

• Ask your mother what her favourite thing was as a child, and watch her realise she no longer remembers.

• Try to write five things you love about yourself without thinking of the five hundred you hate.

• Post a picture of yourself and don’t delete it minutes later just because it feels weird or ugly.

• Have a conversation with your sibling that doesn’t circle back to your broken childhood.

• Let the sunlight kiss your cheeks without remembering someone else’s hands.

• Eat lunch without feeling guilty for existing.

• Look at old pictures of yourself without thinking about what you could have done better.

• Try not to imagine the worst before you allow yourself to do something new.

• Stop looking at your body like a problem to solve; try holding yourself like something you’re proud of.

• Try not to have a crisis whenever someone asks you what your favourite things are.

• Try to look at your father without rage or disdain in your eyes.

Cal.